Dear Britney:

I’ve seen all the bad press you’ve been receiving lately and I know that it has really gotten to you.  Access Hollywood has been promoting your upcoming interview with Matt Lauer all week.  I often feel bad that I pay US Weekly good money to publish all those bad stories about you—but for some reason I just can’t tear my eyes away from all your photos.  Those tear-stained eyes…your poor son looking helpless.

I know—it must be hard to live in the limelight…photographers waiting everywhere hoping that you will make a mistake.  I understand it must be horrible to live in such a fishbowl.

Maybe we’re all wrong about K-Fed.  Maybe he is a better father than he seems.  Shar Jackson still seems to say good things about him…even if he did leave her for you.

But no matter what you have to say about your mothering…about K-Fed…about the state of your marriage. Do you want to know my main problem about you?

YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP.

I hate it when people with good money can’t clean their acts up—emotionally OR physically. 

Granted—I have only seen clips from your upcoming interview, but I feel like I can comfortably say this:  FIRE YOUR PR AGENT (If they haven’t already quit).

PR 101:  If you want people to respect you—- LOOK RESPECTABLE.  I have no idea who let you go on national TV looking that…especially when the whole point of the interview was to set your record straight.  America—I’m not white-trash…even though I may dress like it.

Your television interview has NOT EVEN AIRED YET—but I can tell you right now, you are going to win very few people over.

There is no reason your hair should lack a good conditioner.  Your boobs should not be falling out of your top.  You should not be wearing short denim skirts that practically expose your rear.

I hope you know that they do make good maternity clothes now….especially for those who can afford it.  EVEN TARGET HAS BETTER MATERNITY CLOTHES THAN WHAT YOU ARE WEARING.

You may want people just to leave you alone—BUT YOU MAKE IT TOO EASY FOR THEM TO KEEP LOOKING.  You are a train wreck we can’t pull our eyes from—whether you are walking barefoot into a gas station bathroom or nearly dropping your baby.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a prude.  There is a time and a place for revealing tops and short skirts— and a sit-down interview on primetime television is not it.

Stop blaming everyone at home for perceiving you wrong.  GOOD PR STARTS AT HOME.  When you look good on the outside, you start to feel better on the inside.

Sincerely,
V

P.S.  Just in case you were wondering:  Thursday night @ 9pm on NBC—I’m so all over it!!!