Tuesday’s American Idol performances inspired 38 million votes from fans, but great singing was obviously not one of the reasons the voters took to their phones.

The results show opened this week with the Top 6 Idols crooning “All I Ask of You,” as Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber accompanied them on piano. It’s a good song, and the performance was nice (even if there were times when Irish diva Carly Smithson overpowered the other two ladies in the competition). It was all smiling faces an fun as the Idols danced around on stage, but soon enough they were shuffled to the back to await the news we all wanted to hear.

Before anything was revealed, host Ryan Seacrest and the week’s mentor, Andrew Lloyd Webber, sat on the stage for a discussion on the singing sessions. They discussed the theatrical theme of the week before quickly turning to one of the hot topics of the night: Brooke White’s Tuesday do-over. Seacrest talked at length about how surprising it was and how this has never happened before, but in this Ryan happens to be wrong. Let’s get into the Idol archives, shall we?

In an earlier week of the competition, specifically week 6 (Top 10 week), Brooke White played the piano to sing “Every Breath You Take.” She stumbled, stopped and started over.

But Andrew Lloyd Webber has already been public with his praise of Brooke White. “She’s a very talented girl and I think there’s a real future for her,” he said to Seacrest on Wednesday. And what about the rest? “It was really wonderful for me to have a chance to work with the kids. I wish I’d had more time,” he graciously told the audience. Webber also felt that Castro’s decision to sing the famous “Memory” was the “most curious song choice” he’d ever encountered.

Seacrest then asked Webber to provide a title for a love song about Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. “’Time To Say Goodbye’?” Webber asked with a smile. Or perhaps, “’How Can I Say I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?’”

The Ford video was next, this week with an 80s-style punk rock and animation theme, as Idols sang “Tainted Love.” I actually rather liked this video…but I’m bound to like anything punk rock.

Idol Gives Back was highlighted once again, this time with a special message from President George W. and First Lady Laura Bush. “Laura and I are so pleased to join you on American Idol. We thank the American Idol viewers who donated $65 million to help children across the globe through Idol Gives Back,” the President began, before Laura took over with her little speech. Wearing a wide-eyed expression, she read the statements like someone who’d never seen the words before. The best I can about the President is that at least he was rehearsed.

Ryan Seacrest stood on stage to present us with two stools, reserved for the bottom two vote-getters of the week. Next, he called Davids Cook and Archuleta on the stage - obviously a pair not bound for either seat. Seacrest asked Cook about his very different Tuesday performance. “I figured, what would me more unpredictable than actually doing a song the way it was written?” Cook told him, to the laughter of the crowd. The host then declared both safe, and they quickly took their seats on the couch.

Idol took a few moments to pay homage to two former competitors, Tamyra Gray (season 1) and Clay Aiken (season 2), who are both in current Broadway productions (“Rent” and “Spamalot,” respectively). Lakisha Jones, who is also starring on Broadway, was present in the audience for the footage.

Leona Lewis, a girl Simon Cowell called “very special,” performed her popular song “Bleeding Love” next. After rocketing to the pop charts in the UK, Lewis managed to find success across the pond and became the first British singer to reach the top of U.S. charts with a debut album. She looked absolutely stunning and displayed good vocals. Paula Abdul was on her feet through most of the number. I likewise found the performance pretty good, but honestly I just don’t like that song.

Syesha Mercado, who should not have worn purple eye shadow, and Brooke White were called to center stage next. To recap, Syesha kicked off Tuesday night in a fun, powerful performance that - in Paula’s words - “brought the house down.” Brooke had a false start and warbled her way through her song choice with pitchy vocals and lots of facial expression. But Brooke can do absolutely nothing wrong on this show. She was naturally declared safe and Syesha was sent to sit on a stool in yet another massive Idol injustice. How this girl even makes it into the bottom anything is completely incomprehensible to me.

Paula was glib when it came to the results: “It is the luck of the draw,” she told Syesha.

This left only Carly Smithson and Jason Castro waiting backstage. Holding hands, the pair went to stand next to Seacrest to hear the news. Jason was talked to at length about his song choice, and looking completely keyed-up he told Seacrest, “I don’t really wanna sing right now, though.” I don’t doubt it. At any rate, Jason was declared safe and Carly was not.

It took me a full five minutes just to be able to pull my gaping mouth closed after this little bit of information. This meant that Carly and Syesha - obviously two of the better vocalists the show’s ever seen - were the bottom two. Bottom two, are you flipping kidding me?

“What has happened?” Ryan Seacrest asked, standing next to the bottom pair. Really, Ryan, I just do not know. Simon Cowell attempted to clarify. He said Brooke showed that she is “human,” and “everyone makes mistakes.” As for Castro, Simon said, “Jason, you weren’t very good, but you were charming.” Charming’s true enough - his pre-song clip alone was priceless.

Carly Smithson stood to sing her song again, looking and sounding fantastic as she offered up an unfailingly professional performance. Just before scooting off to the side of the stage, she even got a little potshot in at Brooke White, declaring “I remembered all the words,” into the microphone. Me-ow. The Irish lass has claws, but I really can’t say I blame her for the dig.

Syesha’s song started just a tad rough, but she pulled it up to give the audience another wonderful, very fun performance. She danced her way up and around the judges’ island and completely wowed me with her vocal power.

Ryan Seacrest called it “two fantastic performances by two outstanding singers.” So…what the F is going on, Seacrest?

“I am shocked,” Randy Jackson admitted. “It must be a bit of popularity week in the vote.” Gee, ya think? What show have you been on for the past seven years? “Those two sang really good last night,” Jackson added. Maybe one of them should have tripped and called a re-do instead.

And so it was that Carly Smithson was eliminated from American Idol, to very loud booing from the onlookers. Ryan Seacrest called her “a real star,” as Carly gamely kept a pretty smile on her face to show there’s no hard feelings. She received a standing ovation from the audience and lots of hugs from her co-competitors…and hopefully, she’ll receive several recording offers before the week is out.

“Carly, you can leave with your head held high,” Simon Cowell told her. “It’s only just begun,” Paula Abdul smiled. Here’s hoping those words are true. Sorry, Carly…but the best singers never actually win Idol.