(Make sure to check out TV Envy's Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (1/31)

• 90210 (CW, 8 P.M.): “Dixon interrupts Debbie and Ryan’s romantic dinner.” The embarrassment forces the new couple to leave town.
• Lie to Me (FOX, 9 P.M.): “Cal probes the death of a social-network cofounder who had feared that she was being squeezed out by her partner.” Witnesses reported hearing someone screaming, “This is My Space!”
• Harry’s Law (NBC, 10 P.M.): “Harry (Kathy Bates) defends and inmate whom she believes is unjustly imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit.” She hates to see a man in misery.

TUESDAY (2/1)

• V (ABC, 9 P.M.): “Anna visits the Vatican to try to win over religious leaders.” She offered to share her sky messaging time with God.
• What Not to Wear (TLC, 9 P.M.): “A flight attendant who goes overboard with bling tones down her style.” It was costing her more to bring those huge rocks on board.
• Parenthood (NBC, 10 P.M.): “Sarah demands a raise to help pay for Amber’s tuition.” The only thing her Comcast bosses were willing to cough up was free cable.

WEDNESDAY (2/2)

• Miracle Detectives (OWN, 10 P.M.): “A man says he can detect illnesses in other people through intuition.” He knows the precise moment when he starts making people sick of him.
• Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 10 P.M.): “A billionaire become a suspect in a sexual-abuse case involving a teenager girl, and his highly-paid attorney is able to make the case veer off course.” This highly-paid attorney will officially join the ranks of every single SVU lawyer that has preceded him.
• Are We There Yet? (TBS, 10 P.M.): “Lindsey’s romantic attentions turn to a young celebrity DJ, who only neglects her in return.” Could we blame Samantha Ronson for avoiding anyone named Lindsay?

THURSDAY (2/3)

• The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 P.M.): “Sheldon wants acting lessons from Penny, hoping they will make him a better teacher.” When he forgets to acknowledge her tutelage at the Golden Globes, she drops him as a student.
• Community (NBC, 8 P.M.): “Abed and Jeff play a game of Dungeons and Dragons to boost the spirits of a lonely student.” Because that’s going to expand his social circle.
• $#*! My Dad Says (CBS, 8:30 P.M.): “Ed gets jealous when a wealthy suitor (Lee Majors) tries to woo Rosemary.” It’s hard to compete with a man valued at $6 million.

FRIDAY (2/4)

• Supernatural (CW, 8:30 P.M.): “Virgins mysteriously disappear, and Dean and Bobby learn that dragons are responsible for the kidnappings." Dragons like their meat fresh, too.
• CSI: NY (CBS, 10 P.M.): “A tractor-trailer truck carrying a group of party guests is discovered at the bottom of the Hudson River.” That’s one big party foul.
• Confessions: Animal Hoarding (Animal, 10 P.M.): “An owner of 80-plus dogs is blind to their ill effect on her husband.” Cue Pet #81: the seeing eye dog.

SUNDAY (2/6)

• Californication (Showtime, 9 P.M.): “Charlie has a serious shaving accident and Marcy rushes him to the ER, where a doctor gives them surprising news about Charlie's vasectomy.” Uhh -- what exactly was he shaving?
• Titanic II (Syfy, 9 P.M.): “Passengers on a state-of-the-art luxury liner discover that history has a habit of repeating itself when they board the Titanic II, and set sail on the same course as the ship’s doomed predecessor.” James Cameron was wrong – this is ridiculous movie.
• Glee (FOX, Post-Super Bowl): “While Mr. Schuester and Coach Beiste work to make peace between the glee club and football team, Sue devises a risky strategy to win the cheerleading Nationals.” This should be a Thriller.