MONDAY (12/17)

• Duel (ABC, 8pm):  The first of six-airings this week.  In this game show, the contestants ‘challenge each other’s intellect and skill, but a single wrong answer disqualifies them from trying for the $1.5 million prize.’  Seriously - if a show is going to be named ‘Duel’, it should involve body blows.
• Clash of the Choirs (NBC, 8pm):  This four-part series brings us Michael Bolton, Patti LaBelle, Nick Lachey and Kelly Rowland.  Surprisingly, this combo is not part of some VH1 program.
• Notes from the Underbelly (ABC, 9pm):  “Eric must organize a baby party without ruining friendships.”  His pals are all hoping they don’t have to come.
• Journeyman (NBC, 10pm):  “Dan is sent to rescue a mother and son in an RV hanging from a cliff.”  Just for clarification—do his travels always predate the existence of 911?

TUESDAY (12/18)

• Clash of the Choirs (NBC, 8pm):  “The first choir is eliminated.”  What does it sound like when a whole group starts wailing at the same time?
• The Biggest Loser (NBC, 9pm):  Season 4 finale.  I think the winner should pull out a wagon full of fat ala Oprah (circa 1988).  It always makes for great (and embarrassing) TV.
• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm):  “Sean discovers the secret about Julia that Christian has been keeping from him.”  Just like all men, Sean and Christian will simply grunt and make up.
• The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo, 10pm):  “A flap between Jeana and Vicki menaces their friendship.”  I’m guessing Jeana finally told the motormouth to shut up.

WEDNESDAY (12/19)

• Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants (CW, 8pm):  “The daughters choose swimwear for themselves and their moms.” There are just some things we don’t need to see.
• Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm):  “Blair’s father comes home for Christmas - and brings his boyfriend with him.”  I’m guessing it won’t be a happy holiday for someone.
• A Holiday Celebration at Ford’s Theater (ABC, 10pm):  The special includes performances by Olivia Newton-John and comic-actor Christopher Titus.  I have yet to find anyone who watches this sort of thing.
• Journeyman (NBC, 10pm):  “Livia lands in the present just as her wedding in the past is about to happen.”  Unfortunately, the nuptials are interrupted by the series’ cancellation.

THURSDAY (12/20)

• Clash of the Choirs (NBC, 8pm):  “A winner is chosen from the final three choirs.”  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!
• CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 8pm):  Repeat.  Rewatch the awkward moment when everyone finds out about Grissom and Sara.
• The Office (NBC, 10pm):  Repeat.  Speaking of awkward, relive the moment when Michael runs over Meredith.  Classic.

FRIDAY (12/21)

• The Singing Bee (NBC, 8pm):  Singer Deborah Harry makes an appearance.  The odds are against any contestant mastering the rap lyrics in ‘Rapture’.
• Dateline (NBC, 9pm):  Out of respect to Stone Phillips, I will never watch this news magazine again.  (Not that I would have anyway.)
• The Next Great American Band (FOX, 9pm):  A winner is chosen to receive a recording contract.  Will they become successful like Daughtry or simply forgotten like Taylor Hicks?

SATURDAY (12/22)

• Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (ABC, 8pm):  Jim Carrey stars as Count Olaf in this dark comedy.  Don’t confuse this role with the Grinch character he’s already played or the Scrooge impression he will do.
• Elf (CBS, 8pm):  Don’t waste your money on that Fred Claus currently in theaters; spend your Saturday night at home watching this holiday film for free.

SUNDAY(12/23)

• Elmo’s Christmas Countdown (ABC, 7pm):  “Elmo and Abby try to help Stiller the Elf track down the 10 numbered boxes in his magical Christmas Counter Downer.”  As hard as I try, I just can’t hate the little red guy (even if his blue counterpart, Grover, continually gets shafted).
• The Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm):  “One pair considers making a permanent change to their bodies to further their position in the race.”  Tattoos!  Tattoos!
• The Santa Clause 2 (ABC, 9pm):  “Having been the new Santa Claus for eight years, Scott Calvin discovers he must find a wife - or his reign as Santa will end.”  Is that a promise or a threat?