MONDAY (12/24)

• How the Grinch Stole Christmas (ABC, 8pm):  Am I the only one who still gets creeped out when I see the Grinch?  He’s not exactly kid-friendly.
• It’s A Wonderful Life (NBC, 8pm):  You officially have one last chance to be grateful before Christmas officially begins.
• Cheaper by the Dozen (FOX, 8pm): In case you need a reminder why having more kids during the holidays might not be a good thing.
• Madagascar (ABC, 9pm):  If you don’t want to get your child a pet, force them to watch this movie and convince them that animals were meant to be free.

TUESDAY (12/25)

• Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parade (ABC, 9am):  Performers on Main Street, USA include the cast of High School Musical 2, Miley Cyrus, Josh Groban, the Jonas Brothers, Jessica Simpson, Katharine McPhee and Menudo.  (The cast was listed in order of importance.)
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (ABC, 8pm):  Having seen Sweeney Todd, I assure you this is the Johnny Depp film you’ll want your kids to see.
• Deal or No Deal (NBC, 8pm):  “A mother of sextuplets plays while trying to avoid cases filled with coal, egg nog and fruitcake.”  A mother of six should have something to look forward to—why torture her with fruitcake?

WEDNESDAY (12/26)

• Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants (CW, 8pm):  “The nine remaining mother/daughter teams receive makeovers and participate in a pageant photo-shoot.”  It’s about time.  Some of those teams could really use the help.
• Christmas with the Kranks (FOX, 8pm):  “A Chicago couple scrambles to put together a holiday celebration after their daughter decides to come home for Christmas.”  My motto?  ‘She gets what she gets.’
• Funniest Commercials of the Year (TBS, 9pm):  “A reflection on 2007’s wittiest and most-entertaining commercials from the US and abroad.” It’s really the only reason I watch the Super Bowl.  Thankfully, they’ve been nicely packaged for me.
• 30th Annual Kennedy Center Honors (CBS, 9pm):  I hate it when stars parade their ‘honors’ in front of our faces.  These ceremonies really should be kept to family members and friends.

THURSDAY (12/27)

• Ice Age (FOX, 8pm):  “A woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger and a sloth find a human baby and try to reunite him with his tribe.”  To repay them for their kindness, this human later grew up to be the biggest offender of global warming.
• Family Television Awards (CW, 9pm):  “TV shows, movies and actors receive honors for achievement in family-oriented programming.”  Have they seriously had eight of these already?  Huh.

FRIDAY (12/28)

• The Singing Bee (NBC, 8pm):  “The contestants try and sing lyrics to popular television theme songs.”  Ugggh.  Just when I finally managed to get the Friends song out of my head.
• Bruce Almighty (FOX, 8pm):  This was the funny Almighty film Steve Carell once starred in.
• Dateline (NBC, 9pm):  Who needs writers when ‘internet predators’ can keep a series afloat?

SATURDAY (12/29)

• Good Night, and Good Luck (CBS, 8pm):  “CBS newsman Edward R. Murrow criticizes Sen. Joseph McCarthy’s tactics in the 1950’s with the backing of producer Fred Friendly.”  It’s really one of those films you can only enjoy once.  After that, it’s just…black-and-white.

SUNDAY(12/30)

• The Sound of Music (ABC, 7pm):  “Julie Andrews becomes a governess to Capt. Von Trapp’s seven children in Austria before WWII.”  On paper, this movie doesn’t sound like fun at all.
• The Amazing Race (CBS, 8pm):  I’m completely intrigued by this week’s title: “Honestly, they have witch powers or something!” Does this mean someone will conjure a spell against Nathan and Jennifer?  Please?