MONDAY (12/3)

• The Closer (TNT, 8pm):  The special two-hour holiday episode brings Brenda’s parents into the investigative fold.  Nothing says Christmas like talking blood with your blood.
• Heroes (NBC, 9pm):  (NOTE:  This is the last new episode left.)  ‘Peter squares off against former friends thanks to Adam’s confusing story about the Shanti virus.’  He shouldn’t fault Adam; the confusing storyline is to blame.
• K-Ville (FOX, 9pm):  ‘Boulet and Cobb investigate an insurance adjuster’s murder.’  As if there weren’t enough people in New Orleans with a motive.
• Life (NBC, 10pm): (First half of the two-parter; 2nd half airs Wednesday).  ‘Evidence points to Reese’s father in the murders that sent Crews to prison.’  I’m guessing this won’t be resolved anytime soon…otherwise, we wouldn’t have a show.

TUESDAY (12/4)

• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (CBS, 8pm):  The annual debut of the 1964 classic.  I’m still convinced Burl Ives is Santa.
• Beauty and the Geek (CW, 8pm):  There’s no way this 4th season finale could top The Bachelor ender.  No way.
• Reaper (CW, 9pm):  ‘Sam secretly begins dating Cady, although he’s still suspicious of her parentage.’  Girls like bad boys, boys like daughters of the devil.
• Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (CBS, 10pm):  Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima and The Spice Girls.  I’m guessing kids watching Rudolph will get a flesh-filled preview during the commercials.
• Nip/Tuck (FX, 10pm): ‘Christian persuades Sean to tape a reality show about their plastic surgery careers.’  Season 5 just keeps getting better and better.

WEDNESDAY (12/5)

• Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (ABC, 8pm):  ‘This holiday tale explains the legend of Santa Claus.’  Having seen the horrible Fred Claus, I’d like to keep Santa’s backstory a mystery.
• Private Practice (ABC, 9pm):  ‘Sam and Naomi struggle to figure out where their relationship is heading.’  They need writers to tell them what’s next.
• Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm):  Debutante Ball.  Why do I envision Ryan from The O.C. starting a fight to ruin it all?
• Life (NBC, 10pm):  (Second half of two-parter.) ‘Crews bails on a crime-scene search to hunt down the person he believes committed the murders that sent him to jail.’  Why did I have a hard time caring about his imprisonment to begin with?

THURSDAY (12/6)

• My Name is Earl (NBC, 8pm):  ‘Earl plans a great escape with help from the gang.’  Hopefully this prison break won’t last three seasons.
• Top Chef: Holiday Special (Bravo, 9pm):  Eight former contestants reunite for a holiday cook-off.  It doesn’t matter how good they are; it’s impossible to perfect the fruit cake.
• Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People (ABC, 10pm):  Jennifer Hudson?  I’m sorry – isn’t she like sooo last year?
• ER (NBC, 10pm):  NBC celebrates the 300th episode by giving the actors 300 patients in one-hour?  That’s so like a boss.  When you’re doing well, they just give you more work.

FRIDAY (12/7)

• Men in Trees (ABC, 8pm):  ‘Marin is upset that Jack hasn’t been in touch, but she doesn’t know his ship has gone down in the Bering Sea.’  He’s pulling out the big excuses early.  He’ll have to kill off a family member the next time around.
• Frosty the Snowman (CBS, 8pm): ‘The story about the warmhearted man of snow who risks a meltdown after rising temperatures.’  It’s narrated by Al Gore.
• Frosty Returns (CBS, 8:30):  A man with snow-removal spray is the antagonist in this saga.  Oh boo.  It’s not like Frosty wasn’t going to die anyway.
• Movies Rock(CBS, 9pm):  ‘Music’s pivotal role in movies is saluted in this celebration.’  Isn’t it too early for an Academy Awards soundtrack montage?

SUNDAY(12/9)

• Holiday in Handcuffs (ABC Family, 8pm):  Melissa Joan Hart kidnaps Mario Lopez at gunpoint because she needs a date for her family’s holiday dinner.  How is the use of guns appropriate for a family-oriented channel?
• Life is Wild (CW, 8pm):  ‘Emily and Tumelo form a study group to prepare for their midterm exam.’  No.  There’s no way I can make that sentence sound any more exciting.
• For One More Day (ABC, 9pm): Oprah Winfrey presents another Mitch Albom adaptation.  Finally - a book I’ve actually read!
• American Dad (FOX, 9:30pm):  ‘Stan rethinks the way he treats people.’  Now why would he go and do something stupid like that?