It’s head-spinning how rapidly highly paid television stars recover after surviving life-threatening health catastrophes on their shows.  Tony on The Sopranos is a case in point.  Comatose for most of last week’s episode, Tony was conscious and on his feet Sunday night. Beyond that, everyone and his brother visits Soprano to pay homage. The near death experience did nothing to cleanse Tony’s potty mouth.  “Get out of my room you sick c***!” he bellows at an insurance company representative.

The episode’s best bedside visit is from two Jesus zealots who want Tony to accept Jesus Christ as his Personal Savior.  Given Soprano’s “wink and nod” approach to the Catholicism in which he was raised, the attempt to see Tony Born Again is simultaneously comic and ironic.

In real life, Jack Nicholson learned that his adoptive mother was, in fact, his birth grandmother.  Paulie Walnuts uncovers an even more shocking family secret: His dying Aunt Dottie, a nun, was, in truth, his mother.  Unlike Julie Andrews’ Maria in The Sound of Music, who crooned to her beloved Christopher Plummer, “Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good,” Sister Dottie has been naughty, not nice.  With Dottie’s startling revelation, Paulie goes ballistic, refusing to attend Dottie’s funeral, and violently disowning Nucci, the mother/auntie who raised him.

Another family, the Barones, have kept their own dirty secrets about the family garbage business.  Following his father’s death, Jason Barone decides to sell Barone Sanitation.  But he’s unaware that another family, namely the Sopranos, has a vested interest.  From his hospital sick bed, Tony tries to enlighten Jason.  But the youngster doesn’t understand - or perhaps, just doesn’t want to understand.  An unveiled threat to Jason’s life is countered by a hospital visit from his grieving, recently-widowed mother.  She begs Tony for mercy, claiming that her son has been kept in the dark about the origins and ownership of Barone Sanitation.

Walking “Mafia General’s” corridors with his IV pole, Soprano meets Schwinn, a hospital patient and former Bell Labs scientist.  The unlikely buddies visit the hospital room of Da Lux, a rap star who is recovering from a gunshot wound that puts his star into even higher orbit.  Schwinn and Soprano wax philosophical while watching a boxing match with Da Lux on his flat-screen TV, not standard hospital issue.  If nothing more, Da Lux has an acquaintanceship with Schwinn’s theory that we’re all connected.  Or, as Da Lux puts it, “Everythang is everythang.”

Having insured her next Emmy nod on the previous two episodes, Edie Falco’s Carmela has little to do beyond holding Tony’s hand.  AJ and Meadow’s roles are also diminished from previous weeks.

The episode’s title is generated within the Da Lux subplot.  Bobby offers to garner sympathy publicity for Da Lux crony Marvin, a rapper with a stalled career,  by shooting him in the fleshy part of the thigh (read “ass.”)

In a second attempt to “Save Tony,” the religious wingnuts return, preaching that evolution is incompatible with salvation.  In their 6,000-year-old world view, dinosaurs ruled the world among the Flintstones.

Schwinn is in the final throes of larynx cancer when Tony is released from the hospital.  Compared to the succumbing scientist, Soprano feels like the luckiest man in the world.

Back home, feeling groovy, mellow, and generous, Tony accepts a compromise deal for the sale of Barone Sanitation. 

The deal doesn’t stop Paulie from beating Jason with a pipe, and demanding a $4000. silent monthly kick back.  It’s not coincidental that the amount is exactly what it costs Paulie to keep Nucci in her apartment.