This Week on TV (5/3-5/9)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Kids, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FOX, Video,
(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)
MONDAY (5/3)
- Romantically Challenged (ABC, 9:30): “Shawn romances Lisa’s friend Vanessa because her cable system carries the hockey championship games and his doesn’t.” She didn’t realize what type of scoring he had in mind.
- Castle (ABC, 10pm): “Beckett and Castle investigate the death of a big-name chef found frozen in a restaurant’s kitchen.” This would not be a good time to be The Naked Chef.
- Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen, 10pm): “Tori and Dean’s relationship is tested after uneasy rider Dean takes a spill on the motorcycle racetrack, landing him in the hospital. The accident leaves the couple conflicted—until Dean issues an apology.” The one who should apologize is the one the audience cares about the least.
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This Week on TV (1/25-1/31)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Music, Prime Time, Reality, ABC, Bravo, Cable, FX, FOX, NBC, Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, Video,
(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)
MONDAY (1/25)
- Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm): “Buddy deals with an indecisive client when creating a cake for the grand opening of a movie theater.” They ultimately agreed to serve melted butter on the side.
- Castle (ABC, 10pm): “A vacationing family return home to find a supposed squatter dead in their daughter’s bed.” The cause of Goldilocks’ death? Poisoned porridge.
- Damages (FX, 10pm): Season premiere. “A court has appointed Patty to recover assets lost in a Ponzi scheme orchestrated by Louis Tobin (Len Cariou) while Ellen is working for the DA’s office, which will prosecute him.” Ahh - there’s nothing like the smell of a fresh backstab in the morning.
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This Week on TV (10/12-10/18)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FX, FOX, MTV, NBC, 30 Rock, Heroes, Nip/Tuck,
(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)
MONDAY (10/12)
- Heroes (NBC, 8pm): “Sylar tries to remember who he was in the past.” The creepy killer on a hit show?
- Gone Too Far (MTV, 10pm): Series premiere. “This documentary series from Adam Goldstein (a.k.a. DJ AM) premieres as he travels to his hometown of Philadelphia to stage a surprise intervention with a 23-year-old heroin addict who won’t go into rehab without a fight.” Finally, something of substance from MTV.
- The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10pm): Season finale. “More stress comes in the form of a disenchanted Taylor, who threatens to walk away from Team Zoe for good, triggering a relapse or Rachel’s vertigo.” Employees—you put them on a reality show, and they’re still never satisfied.
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This Week on TV (10/5-10/11)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Cable, CBS, FOX, HBO, NBC, The CW,
(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)
MONDAY (10/5)
- Sherri (Lifetime, 7pm): Series premiere. “In the opener, Sherri (Sherri Shepherd) turns to her coworkers for support after learning her ex’s 20-year-old girlfriend is pregnant.” She receives emotional support from both the ladies at her table and the viewers behind the camera.
- Rita Rocks (Lifetime, 7:30pm): Season premiere. “Rita takes Hallie to the doctor to discuss birth-control options. But Rita is in for a shock when she discovers she’s pregnant.” There’s nothing like a pregnancy to deter someone from sex.
- CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm): “An investigation into the mysterious deaths of three volleyball players who dropped dead on the court.” The official autopsy reported listed “death by spike.”
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This Week on TV (9/21-9/27)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FOX, NBC, Showtime, The CW, Amazing Race, The, Dancing With The Stars, Desperate Housewives, Family Guy, Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, House, Medium,
(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)
MONDAY (9/21)
Season premieres: Accidentally on Purpose, The Big Bang Theory, Castle, CSI: Miami, Dancing with the Stars, Heroes, House, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men
- House (FOX, 8pm): “Season 6 begins with House as a detoxing patient at a mental hospital. He concocts an escape plan aided by his roommate and a visitor named Lydia (Franka Potente).” Run House Run!
- How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8pm): “The friends discover that Robin and Barney are secretly a couple.” He couldn’t stop talking aboot the girl he hooked up with last night.
- Dancing with the Stars 9 (ABC, 8pm): The opener begins with 16 celebrities including Lindsay Lohan’s ex (Aaron Carter), Shannen Doherty’s ex (Ashley Hamilton) and the ex-House Majority Leader (Tom DeLay). At least one of these guys has been disgraced.
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This Week on TV (8/24-8/30)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Games, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, HBO, MTV, Showtime,
(To get a look at TV Envy’s 2009 Fall Programming Schedule, click here.)
MONDAY (8/24)
- Dating in the Dark (ABC, 9pm): Season finale. “In the first season closer, an ex-FBI profiler assists the contestants.” Let’s hope proper background checks were part of his services.
- The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10pm): Season premiere. “Season 2 opens with celeb stylist Rachel Zoe and her mod squad assigned to dress up five actresses for the Golden Globe awards. Meanwhile, a slumping economy affects the rich and famous when the production of couture gowns drops.” In other news: Us Weekly will devote an entire issue to dresses worn twice.
- Hoarding (A&E, 10pm): “A woman whose children were removed from her home because of her hoarding wants to clean her home so that her children can return.” Until then, she’ll manage with the few children she kept hidden underneath the clothes.
- Nurse Jackie (Showtime, 10:30pm): “The movie reviewer awakens from his coma to find that his critical senses have been radically altered.” Fortunately, his ability to sniff out crap was insured by Lloyd’s of London.
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This Week on TV (6/29-7/5)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Games, Kids, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, BBC, Cable, FOX, MTV, NBC,
(You can view TV Envy’s Programming Schedule here.)
MONDAY (6/29)
- The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family, 8pm): “Ben tries to figure out where he fits in Amy’s life.” Well, the role of babysitter is always open.
- Jon & Kate Plus Eight (TLC, 9pm): “Previously unseen footage of the Gosselin’s early years is featured.” Misty water-colored memories of the way they were….
- Cake Boss (TLC, 10pm): “Buddy creates an ornate wedding cake filled wtih live birds.” Watch out - that might not be fondant you’re eating.
- Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen, 10pm): “Twelve plus-size contestants infiltrate Los Angeles in a competition to shed pounds by means of dance and diet in this 10-part unscripted series hosted by Marissa Jaret Winokur.” In other words, a cutthroat version of Sweatin’ to the Oldies.
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This Week on TV (3/16-3/22)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FOX, MTV, NBC, The CW, Grey’s Anatomy, House,
(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)
MONDAY 3/16)
- House (FOX, 8pm): “A nursing home worker is alarmed when the home’s cat curls up next to her. It seems the cat only cuddles up to people who are going to die soon.” That’s what felines call “grooming their victims.”
- Castle (ABC, 10pm): “Castle and Beckett discover a young nanny dead inside a laundry room dryer, and their investigation leads to a dangerous world of play dates.” The pursuit for the perfect Hide-and-Seek spot can get quite nasty.
- For the Love of Ray J (VH1, 10pm): “A pool date with two contesants turns steamy.” Thanks to Jason Mesnick, I already know how this episode will end.
- CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm): “A flight attendant’s murder reveals dirty secrets of airline travel.” Note to self: Pack own pillow and blanket for next flight.
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This Week on TV (3/2-3/8)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Late Night, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, Talk Shows, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, NBC, Showtime, The CW, America’s Next Top Model, Apprentice, The - Donald, The Bachelor, The Office,
(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)
MONDAY 3/2)
- The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm): “It’s down to Melissa and Molly as Jason bestows the final rose.” But first, two more quick trips to the hot tub.
- Rules of Engagement (CBS, 9:30pm): Season premiere. “Audrey learns Russell is a closet Broadway musical fan, and uses the knowledge to blackmail him for theater tickets.” Tip: Blackmail is best used when Broadway shows aren’t closing.
- CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm): “A murder occurs onboard a yacht belonging to high-powered attorney Derek Powell (Sean Combs).” Blood at Diddy’s “White Party”? That’s gonna stain.
- Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 12:30am): “Jimmy Fallon’s inaugural show features Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake.” Carson Daly has been working for years to get both these guys.
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This Week on TV (2/23-3/1)
Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FX, FOX, MTV, NBC, The CW, American Idol, Apprentice, The - Donald,
(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)
MONDAY 2/23)
- Chuck (NBC, 8pm): “Jeff and Lester pester Ellie to hire their music group - called Jeffster! - as her wedding band.” That’s one way to ensure the Macarena won’t be played.
- Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 9pm): “Jon and Kate decide to expand their family with the addition of two puppies.” Let’s not give Nadya Suleman any ideas.
- 24 (FOX, 9pm): “Jack and Renee walker pursue Dubaku through the streets of Washington, D.C., with a little cyber help from Chloe.” If Bauer switched to Verizon, he could have a whole network working for him.
- True Beauty (ABC, 10pm): Season finale. “A winner is named after an intimate interview with editor Jess Cagle tests contestants’ inner beauty and a seminude photo shoot tests their outer beauty.” The finalists will be graded on a curve and their curves.
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