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This Week on TV (10/12-10/18)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Animation, Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FX, FOX, MTV, NBC, 30 Rock, Heroes, Nip/Tuck

Nip/Tuck

(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (10/12)

  • Heroes (NBC, 8pm):  “Sylar tries to remember who he was in the past.” The creepy killer on a hit show?
  • Gone Too Far (MTV, 10pm):  Series premiere. “This documentary series from Adam Goldstein (a.k.a. ) premieres as he travels to his hometown of Philadelphia to stage a surprise intervention with a 23-year-old heroin addict who won’t go into rehab without a fight.” Finally, something of substance from MTV.
  • The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10pm):  Season finale. “More stress comes in the form of a disenchanted Taylor, who threatens to walk away from Team Zoe for good, triggering a relapse or Rachel’s vertigo.” Employees—you put them on a reality show, and they’re still never satisfied.

Click to continue reading This Week on TV (10/12-10/18)


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This Week on TV (8/24-8/30)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Games, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, HBO, MTV, Showtime

The Rachel Zoe Project

(To get a look at TV Envy’s 2009 Fall Programming Schedule, click here.)

MONDAY (8/24)

  • Dating in the Dark (ABC, 9pm):  Season finale. “In the first season closer, an ex-FBI profiler assists the contestants.” Let’s hope proper background checks were part of his services.
  • The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Season 2 opens with celeb stylist and her mod squad assigned to dress up five actresses for the Golden Globe awards. Meanwhile, a slumping economy affects the rich and famous when the production of couture gowns drops.” In other news: Us Weekly will devote an entire issue to dresses worn twice.
  • Hoarding (A&E, 10pm):  “A woman whose children were removed from her home because of her hoarding wants to clean her home so that her children can return.” Until then, she’ll manage with the few children she kept hidden underneath the clothes.
  • Nurse Jackie (Showtime, 10:30pm):  “The movie reviewer awakens from his coma to find that his critical senses have been radically altered.” Fortunately, his ability to sniff out crap was insured by Lloyd’s of London.

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This Week on TV (8/3-8/9)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Games, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Specials, ABC, BBC, Bravo, Cable, FX, FOX, MTV, Showtime, TNT-HD, Hell's Kitchen

The cast of Psych and Monk

(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

MONDAY (8/3)

  • The Closer (TNT, 9pm):  “Brenda reopens a murder case when it’s surmised that a father may have offered a false confession to cover for his schizophrenic son. Sosie Bacon (daughter of and Kyra Sedgwick) guest stars.” Thanks to the Bernie Madoff scam, the whole Bacon family is now being put to work.
  • Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 9pm):  “Jon stays home to oversee kitchen renovations while Kate and the kids head to the beach as the series returns with its first all-new episode after a five-week hiatus spurred by a marital breakup.” The show will be followed by a new series: Jon Plus His 8 Dates.
  • Making His Band (MTV, 10pm):  “The finalists move into their new pad and tensions arise between the trained musicians and those who were self-taught.” There are some who are born talented, there are some who are taught. Then there are those who buy record companies and call themselves singers.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  “Coworkers Celia and Dean develop a new marketing scheme after discovering they have a surplus of product.” Who knew one had to create a need for weed?

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This Week on TV (9/8-9/14)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Award Shows, Comedy, Daytime, Drama, Food & Home, Games, Late Night, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, Specials, Talk Shows, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FOX, HBO, MTV, NBC, Syndication, The CW, Entourage, Oprah Winfrey Show, Prison Break, Saturday Night Live

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

(You can view TV Envy’s Fall Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (9/8)

  • The Oprah Winfrey Show (Syndicated, check local listings:  Season 23 premiere. Oprah kicks off her new year with over 150 Olympians. Medals, schmedals. I’m sure they’re all hoping for free cars.
  • Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX, 8pm):  Season 2 premiere. “Agent Ellison handles the aftermath of Cromartie’s massacre.” Now if a pool full of dead bodies doesn’t spell things out for Ellison, nothing will.
  • Take Home Nanny (TLC, 8pm):  “Parents of aggressive twins need help from Emma to get the kids to behave well for a dinner with a teacher at the new school they want the boys to attend next year.” After they’re accepted, the twins then become the teacher’s problem.
  • Prison Break (FOX, 9pm):  “Michael and his crew have one day to find the other five cardholders or they’ll go back to prison.” Yeah, yeah, yeah - been there, done that.

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This Week on TV (8/11-8/17)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Action, Drama, Food & Home, Games, Kids, Music, Prime Time, Reality, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, MTV, PBS, TNT-HD

Kung Fu Killer

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)
(You can navigate NBC’s Olympics schedule here.)


MONDAY (8/11)

  • Sesame Street (PBS, check local listings):  Season 39 premiere. “One, two, three, four…chickens just back from the shore.”
  • High School Musical: Get in the Picture (ABC, 8pm):  “The contestants get a lesson on how to express emotions without using words.” Tip #1: If you need to cry, cut a hole in your pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. (Thanks, Joey Tribbiani.)
  • The Closer (TNT, 9pm):  “Provenza gets in hot water when he loses evidence from a successfully executed sting operation.” Somebody better buy the boss a box a chocolates asap.
  • The Mole (ABC, 10pm):  “The mole’s last victim and the Mole are revealed in the fifth-season finale after all 12 players reunite.” If a mole is revealed but nobody’s there to see it, will a show get whacked?

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This Week on TV (7/28-8/3)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Food & Home, Games, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, ABC, Bravo, Cable, FOX, MTV, NBC, Showtime

Pamela Anderson

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (7/28)

  • Wanna Bet? (ABC,9pm):  “Corbin Bernsen, , Rip Hamilton and Melissa Peterman are the celebs placing the wagers. Stunts include a man trying to kick himself in the head 45 times in one minute.” Wanna bet people only know who half these ‘celebrities’ are?
  • Paranormal State (A&E, 10pm):  Season Two premiere. “The team investigates supposed activity at a home, including the mysterious destruction of religious objects and the unexplained appearance of dead animals near the home.” Dead animals? Should they be looking for ghosts or a serial killer?
  • Make a Move (DIY, 10pm):  “Amy Wynn Pastor helps newlyweds with their eco-conscious home, including projects like a compost heap, a kitchen upgrade and a wall demolition.” Ah, newlyweds. Always so annoyingly optimistic.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  “In Mexico, Celia discovers the joys of discounted medicine at local pharmacies.” If only she had known about the $4 generics at her local Wal-Mart.

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This Week on TV (6/30-7/6)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Food & Home, Games, Music, Prime Time, Reality, ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, The CW, Hell's Kitchen

Shear Genius 2

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (6/30)

  • American Gladiators (NBC, 8pm):  “Four amateur athletes who successfully lost weight are featured.” That’s exactly the way Wolf likes them: nice and skinny.
  • The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All (ABC, 9pm):  “Fifteen of DeAnna’s suitors dish with - and about - the Bachelorette who let them get away.” Thankfully, this version is not the one we would get on MTV.
  • 46664: A Concert for Nelson Mandela (VH1, 9pm): Those helping to celebrate Mandela’s life outside bars include performers who should be behind them (e.g. ).
  • Verminators (Discovery, 10pm):  “The source of a roach infestation at an apartment building shocks Mike.” There’s a reason why they say ignorance is bliss.

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This Week on TV (6/23-6/29)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Comedy, Drama, Games, Music, Prime Time, Reality, Sci-Fi/Horror, Specials, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FX, FOX, MTV, NBC, Showtime

Celebrity Family Feud

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (6/23)

  • I Love the New Millennium (VH1, 10pm):  “Eight-part series featuring stars reminiscing about pop culture phenomena of the new millennium begins with the year 2000.” Is it too soon to wonder what VH1 will cover in 2011?
  • Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods (MTV,10pm):  “The ladies perform with a canine costar: Bruiser, the dog from the musical.” I had no idea revived Punk’d.
  • Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal (A&E, 10pm):  “A 14-year-old boy, who claims to see spirits of people and animals, is introduced to siblings close to his age who supposedly have paranormal gifts.” I’m always happy when freaky kids find someone to play with.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  “Celia’s hard time in county lock-up gets harder when her cellmate decides to make Celia her ‘special girl’.” Yeah - that would definitely suck.

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This Week on TV (6/16-6/22)

Posted by Veronica Santiago Categories: Award Shows, Comedy, Daytime, Drama, Food & Home, Games, Kids, Prime Time, Reality, Specials, Talk Shows, ABC, Bravo, Cable, CBS, FOX, MTV, NBC, Showtime, The CW, Top Chef

Weeds' Mary Louise Parker

(You can view TV Envy’s Summer Television Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (6/16)

  • The Bachelorette: DeAnna Tells All (ABC, 8pm):  “With six bachelors remaining, assesses the competition to win her heart so far, as do her six beaus.” Apparently revealing their boxers just hasn’t told her enough.
  • Weeds (Showtime, 10pm):  Season premiere. “Nancy, Andy and the boys, on the run after she set fire to their house, head to the beach and a ‘heartwarming family reunion’ with Judah’s grandmother.” Had I known this show was only 30-minutes long, I could have caught up a long time ago!
  • The Mole (ABC, 10pm):  “The contestants, clad in nothing but their underwear, hit the streets of Santiago, Chile and solicit clothing.” At this point, the show could probably use a little skin to ramp interest up a bit.
  • Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Showtime, 10:30pm):  Series premiere. “A high-priced London escort entertains a middle-aged client who enjoys role-playing and has a penchant for being down on the farm.” I think that summary says it all.

Click to continue reading This Week on TV (6/16-6/22)


Top 5 Least Romantic Reality TV Shows

Posted by Jacci Lewis Categories: Reality, ABC, BBC, FOX, Editorial

Every year at about this time some clever person comes up with a ‘Top 5 or 10 Most Romantic Movies’ list. In honor of the (which has stiffed us with an inordinate amount of reality shows in place of quality TV) and for all the people who really can’t stand Valentine’s Day… how about the ‘Top 5 Least Romantic Reality Shows’?

Quick note: there is no scientific basis for this list. It is simply a collection of shows that couldn’t possibly inspire amorous feelings after watching them.

How Clean Is Your House

  1. How Clean Is Your House? (BBC): Post-menopausal British women expose extreme slobs by doing stuff like sniffing pet stool and urine stains in the ratty carpet of unkempt homes. Enough said.
  2. Wife Swap (ABC):Two diametrically opposed women switch lives by making a stranger’s family just as miserable as their own. Are there any other stereotypes of women out there besides the doormat mom or self-absorbed shrew?
  3. Cops (FOX): Wife beaters, crack whores, sloppy drunks and meth heads. It’s a how-to manual for singles on who not to get involved with.
  4. Bridezillas (WE): They’re spoiled, demanding and borderline delusional women yet somehow they’ve convinced some poor slob to marry them and be grateful for it.
  5. Jon & Kate+8 (Discovery Health): Super nice people, terrifying number of children under the age of 8. It’s video birth control.

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