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This Week on TV (3/29-4/4)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (3/29)
  • 10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family, 8pm):  “While on suspension, Kat sneaks into school to take a test.” Kids these days—if they’re not itching to text, they’re dying to take tests.
  • 24 (FOX, 9pm):  “Taylor gives Jack a crucial assignment.” His mission: Safely deliver to FOX before times runs out.
  • Kell on Earth (Bravo, 10pm):  “The staffers throw a birthday party for Kell.” The interns will be saddled with perfecting the seating arrangements for musical chairs.

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This Week on TV (3/15-3/21)


Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (3/15)
  • Chuck (NBC, 8pm):  When Casey (Adam Baldwin) sets out on a side mission for his former commander, he lands in jail for treason. Cut to Chuck and Sarah, who try to break him out of prison and restore his good name.” They have to convince everyone he’s not one of those Baldwin brothers once and for all.
  • Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm):  “Chuck discovers some things about the woman who may be his mother (Laura Harring).” He came across a steamy video of her with Naomi Watts taken somewhere near Mulholland Drive.
  • Damages (FX, 10pm):  “Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson) returns to launch his new foundation.” As a member of the Handsome Men’s Club, he hopes to support up-and-coming hunks.

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This Week on TV (2/15-2/21)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (2/15)
  • 24 (FOX, 9pm):  “Jack’s undercover mission worries his colleagues.” They never thought he’d go so far as to wear a dress.
  • Keeping Up with Kardashians (E!, 10pm):  “Kourtney breaks up with Scott after he gets drunk on Kim’s birthday in Las Vegas.” She always knew he was a douche, but she didn’t realize he was such a lush.
  • Celebrity Close Calls (Biography, 10pm):  “Celebrities recall incidents in which they nearly died. Included: Jane Seymour, Erik Estrada, Leif Garrett and Coolio.” The death of their careers will be covered in Part 2.

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This Week on TV (2/8-2/14)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (2/8)
  • Bank of Hollywood (E!, 8pm):  “Contestants include a daredevil in a wheelchair, an aspiring soap actress and a bodybuilding grandma.” The actress’ Guiding Light severance checks eventually disqualified her from the program.
  • Heroes (NBC, 9pm):  “Hiro reviews his past choices and takes action to stop a catastrophe.” If he can make it as far back as Season 2, he might be able to save NBC.
  • Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp (VH1, 9pm):  “The Season 7 premiere introduces the new cast members: Sebastian Bach, Bobby Brown, Nicole Eggert, Kevin Federline, Shar Jackson, Jay McCarroll, KayCee Stroh and Tanisha Thomas.” At least one of these celebrities was brought in from Skid Row.

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This Week on TV (1/25-1/31)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (1/25)
  • Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm):  “Buddy deals with an indecisive client when creating a cake for the grand opening of a movie theater.” They ultimately agreed to serve melted butter on the side.
  • Castle (ABC, 10pm):  “A vacationing family return home to find a supposed squatter dead in their daughter’s bed.” The cause of Goldilocks’ death? Poisoned porridge.
  • Damages (FX, 10pm):  Season premiere. “A court has appointed Patty to recover assets lost in a Ponzi scheme orchestrated by Louis Tobin (Len Cariou) while Ellen is working for the DA’s office, which will prosecute him.” Ahh - there’s nothing like the smell of a fresh backstab in the morning.

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This Week on TV (1/11-1/17)


(Make sure to check out TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule.)

 

MONDAY (1/11)
  • Little People, Big World (TLC, 8pm):  “Matt and Amy’s families gather to celebrate the twins upcoming graduation. But when Zach has a failing grade on his report card, no one is sure whether he’ll receive a diploma after all.” Fortunately, education is not a prerequisite for reality TV stardom.
  • Bank of Hollywood (E!, 9pm):  “Contestants include two men who want to open a mullet hair salon.” Heck - I would fork over my own money just to see that.
  • Two and a Half Men (CBS, 9pm):  “Jake tries to win back his ex-girlfriend by writing her love songs.” Charlie (Sheen) will be taking detailed notes.

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This Week on TV (3/16-3/22)

Battlestar Galactica

(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)

 

MONDAY 3/16)
  • House (FOX, 8pm):  “A nursing home worker is alarmed when the home’s cat curls up next to her. It seems the cat only cuddles up to people who are going to die soon.” That’s what felines call “grooming their victims.”
  • Castle (ABC, 10pm):  “Castle and Beckett discover a young nanny dead inside a laundry room dryer, and their investigation leads to a dangerous world of play dates.” The pursuit for the perfect Hide-and-Seek spot can get quite nasty.
  • For the Love of Ray J (VH1, 10pm):  “A pool date with two contesants turns steamy.” Thanks to , I already know how this episode will end.
  • CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “A flight attendant’s murder reveals dirty secrets of airline travel.” Note to self: Pack own pillow and blanket for next flight.

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This Week on TV (3/2-3/8)

Breaking Bad

(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)

 

MONDAY 3/2)
  • The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm):  “It’s down to Melissa and Molly as Jason bestows the final rose.” But first, two more quick trips to the hot tub.
  • Rules of Engagement (CBS, 9:30pm):  Season premiere. “Audrey learns Russell is a closet Broadway musical fan, and uses the knowledge to blackmail him for theater tickets.” Tip: Blackmail is best used when Broadway shows aren’t closing.
  • CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm):  “A murder occurs onboard a yacht belonging to high-powered attorney Derek Powell (Sean Combs).” Blood at Diddy’s “White Party”? That’s gonna stain.
  • Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 12:30am):  “Jimmy Fallon’s inaugural show features Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake.” has been working for years to get both these guys.

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